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so everyone is doin the whole truth thing about friends... so i guess here is my little peice about those who i care about...

Tania: you've been my best friend since the day i met you. honestly i love that you found someone that makes you happy. on the other hand i'm scared for you. this is your third engagment. you are moving to chicago away from everyone you know and love to be with a guy that can do "the carlton"... he seems great, but u r gonna miss out on everything else for one guy... i just hope he's worth it to u...

Jess: I love you to death. your my sis and my best friend. one love...lol. i know that you've had it hard, and life is just startin to get good. i also know that guys suck... you fall in love so quickly and get so hurt so fast. i think you should slow down and figure out what you want and then go for it slowly. love is one thing but you should find a guy you are in love with. one that won't cheat or hurt u and will do anything for you. i think you deserve that... and if u don't find someone like that right away then screw it , do the friend and work thing... i'll always be ur shoulder...

Robyn: love hurts and so does life... u've had alot of ups and downs... i love that u bounce back with all ur girl power revelations... this baby is gonna be tough... and i'll help you as much as i can. you were there for me when i needed you the most like a good friend should be. and i thank you...

Danielle: we've had our ins and our one out... and you are a great person and a good friend... i feel that u do have a flaw that will hurt u in the long run... you go through guys like water. after ur break up with scot after marriage u should have realized that things shouldn't go like a whirlwind... just be urself... and the right guy will come along... don't change for any guy... getting a guy isn't worth losing ur personality... ur a gr8 person and u just need to realize that...

Josh: u r a fun guy... ur awesome and adorkable...i think the best of u... but there is one thing about u i find upsetting... ur moving... and i'll miss u... i wish u would stay but u wont... i hear u even found a sweet girl to spend time with... it's gr8 u found a girl.. but u r goin against ur own advice... 16 r olds r too young for an almost 22 yr old... relationship isn't another word for babysitting... remember that...

Julian: ur a nice guy... u deserve a nice girl... not having a relationship isn't so bad tho... u need to stop obsessing about what u don't have and think about all the things u do have... friends, family, a job, and school... realize that those thing are going to always be with u... while a relationship may not... u have gr8 people in ur life don't be down about people that arn't in ur life...

Brittany: my little sis and best friend... u think i'm so great and i think u r 2... but i think u need to think for ur self... don't be a clone of me to get my approval... u think i'm ur hero... but what have i done to desrve that??? u need to figure out who u r and be that person... don't be who u think i'll approve of... i don't judge u... i don't want u to go through things i did because u feel the need to be like me... be ur self... be who u need to 2 be happy... don't be me... i love u and i say that with all the love in my heart...

there are more people but i find these people to be the most important... i love all of u guys and please don't be mad... if i lose friend ships then they weren't real to begin with i guess...

a better week

"you look like you could use a friend...i sure don't need him"

well i saw my best friends all week...lmao... this week was awesoe... i saw tania, robyn, jess, and alex...

got a new job 2day... starts the end of march... i get to work at an ice cream place opening up on 38... it's called curvasious creams.... my aunt is opening it up so yay i have a job!!! lmao

tickets to warped tour start selling march 31st... *looks around and evily says* I must buy them!

a surprise for robyn...Collapse )

well this was an awesome week.... wasn't it?

Nov. 15th, 2004

What kind of disease are you?


ashley is caused by Satan.

ashley will slowly turn infected subject into a dinosaur.
ashley is curable by singing Michael Jackson songs at the top of your lungs, forever. You can never speak again, or you will die.
imagine closing ur eyes 4 a moment... u open them again and u are not where u were... u are somewhere completely foreign... u have no idea where u e or how u got there... u just stand in a silent unknown land with nothing but ur thoughts 2 help u work out what has happened...is this what death would be like? y would it necessarily be a beautiful golden light with angels singing out ur name? the afterlife could be a life revolved around fear and the whole "heaven" thing was life itself... y is it that the afterlife is supposedly when things get perfect? everyone loves the happy ending, so why not tell everyone that there's a golden light at the end of their tunnels? wouldn't it make more sense to believe life is the ultimate moment of your existence? wouldn't u live life that much fuller? but would u chose the life where u live it 2 the max expecting it 2 be all that there is, or would u take the option of following the trust in religion that tells u there's a golden light awaiting ur arrival?either way has it's hard choice, living life 2 the fullest, if there is a light at the end of the tunnel u want be seeing it coz u were too busy partying and 'sinning'... but then life by religion u could open your eyes 2 the barren nothiness and think "fuck thats it?" i wasted my life...

Nov. 8th, 2004

abc's Ashley

A is for - Age: 21...
B is for - Boyfriend/Girlfriend: don't u wanna know u nosy ass people
C is for - Career in Future: web designer and a game designer

D is for - Dead person you would like to meet: my grandpa
E is for - Essential item: lip gloss
F is for - Favorite song at the moment: "welcome to my life" by simple plan
G is for - Girls you've kissed: hehe we wont go into that..
H is for - Hometown: mount holly
I is for - Instruments you play: drums, bass, learning guitar

J is for - Job title: sales associate at debs, also going to be waitressing at applebees
K is for - Kicks Ass: my ducky shorts...
L is for - Living places: my house and tania's sorta
M is for - Most memorable moment of today: havin my mom almost pass out when i came outta my room looking preppy....lmao
N is for - Number of people you've slept with: alot of people slep in my bed! i share! *hehe* also i sleep in alot of peoples beds! they share! it doesn't mean we do anything sexual....lmao
O is for - Overnight hospital stays: a few...i was really really sick... had some sezures... blah
P is for - Phobias: oh god... silence, the dark, spiders, clowns, salivia and more shit but u don't need 2 know them all do u?
Q is for - Quote you like: it's a love quote! it's the sweetest thing!! awww...

a girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...no. She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said no. She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no. She had heard enough ..... As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....You're not pretty you're beautiful. i dont want to be with you forever. i NEED to be with you forever, and i wouldnt cry if you walked away...i'd die..

R is for - Relationship that lasted the longest: we wont talk about that.
S is for - Sexuality: bi sexual
T is for - Time you wake up everyday: um no set time really...
U is for - Unique trait(s): im double jointed... is that unique?
V is for - Vegetable you love: cucumbers, carrots, brocoli.. everything
W is for - Worst habit: nail bitting, or dating people that r so totally wrong 4 me
X is for - X-rays you've had: um where havn't i bee x-rayed
Y is for - Yummy food you make: any food i make is yummy
Z is for - Zodiac sign: scorpio
ok i haven't really updated in a hot min so here it goes...

1) got a job at debs at the mall... i love it...

2) tania's back and we just keep partying on :)... woooooo i love this girl... she's the best wifey ever...

3) been chillin alot w/ friends as of late... i love my friends <3

4) recorded a song in philly... new sound is awesome

5) i'm ahead in the homework department :) such a geek...

6) for the first time in a while i have no issues w/ life...

7) boston market is still tryin 2 get me back... lmao as if...

8) hopin 2 head up 2 monclair soon and spend time w/ my cuz :) that will rock... *thinks... co-ed dorm rooms, me and my cuz and maybe i'll even see ryan cuz i haven't seen him in the longest*

9) i've decided 2 go prep...yeah yeah i know...don't say it... im only doin it cuz well... frankly i'm sick of people tellin me 2 do it... so i figured if my friends would be happy...i'd do it... grrrr not 2 say i'm not disgusted w/ the idea

10) kinda bummed cuz well the a-team isn't here for company... lmao...

there's more but i don't feel like typin anymore.... lmao

i got this from jess :) thx

10 Little-Known Facts about what Women REALLY Want from Men!

1. We need to hear how you feel about us, so tell us how much you love us RIGHT NOW! And again in ten minutes =)

2. Saying "I love you" before, during, or after sex-- does NOT count.

3. We're unimpressed by men who don't take the lead. Be a man, dammit!

4. You're sexiest when you are: sweating, driving, shaving, or holding a baby.

5. No matter how cool we seem about it, if you did something bad, we're pissed off.

6. We love when you hold our hands. Especially while you’re driving.

7. Groping and foreplay are NOT the same thing. By the way..more foreplay!

8. We want to be the best thing that ever happened to you -- and for you to know it.

9. If we're not having sex with you it is because: we feel fat OR we don't feel very close to you OR we are punishing you for not doing something our way OR a combination of any of the aforementioned factors.

10. If we don't feel loved, we'll start looking elsewhere.

You Are a New School Democrat

You like partying and politics - and are likely to be young and affluent.

You're less religious, traditional, and uptight than most Democrats.

Smoking pot, homosexuality, and gambling are all okay in your book.

You prefer that the government help people take care of themselves.

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
h0tsweetdreamz goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as A Vampire w/ an outfit like the girl from underworld... hmmm.
allydogreat gives you 13 brown spearmint-flavoured wafers.
chemical__ tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
dilutedxaries gives you 9 dark blue banana-flavoured jelly beans.
freidenker gives you 6 light blue cherry-flavoured gummy bats.
fuzzydeath tricks you! You lose 1 pieces of candy!
majin_j tricks you! You lose 3 pieces of candy and get a used tissue!
njwhitebread gives you 16 brown peach-flavoured pieces of taffy.
pinkfaeriebitch gives you 18 tan passionfruit-flavoured gummies.
redeyedinosaur tricks you! You get a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
xxlilwonderxx gives you 18 dark blue strawberry-flavoured wafers.
h0tsweetdreamz ends up with 75 pieces of candy, a used tissue, and a 3.5-inch floppy disc.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

christmas is right around the corner so...here goes...

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 majin_js a-rubbing.
11 pinkfaeriebitchs a-singing.
10 dilutedxariess a-chewing.
9 therealtrimjzs a-dancing.
8 freidenkers a-clucking.
7 xxlilwonderxxs a-groaning.
6 allydogreats a-snorting.
5 red redeyedinosaurs.
4 waving chemical__s.
3 Swedish fuzzydeaths.
2 salamander seanlawsons.
And a njwhitebread in a pear tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

my live journal sitcom.... hmmm... wacky...

My LiveJournal Sitcom
At a deli (FOXFAM, 2:30): h0tsweetdreamz (Steven Seagal) discovers that korp5e (Elvis Presley) is taking continental drift lessons. That weekend, mysticimp (Jamie Lee Curtis) borrows throwapenny (Veronica Lake)'s car to drive to the beach. Meanwhile, sunvalley55 (Leeza Gibbons) makes fun of majin_j (Alan Thicke) for enjoying Scientology. On the other side of town, fuzzydeath (Mel Gibson) and xxxnenaxxx (Richard Hatch) don't believe in Marxism. Also, lostvalleylake (Keifer Sutherland) hires 36:allydogreat (Judd Nelson) to perform pantomime at a preschool. Wackiness ensues.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

My LiveJournal Sitcom
coat and toothpaste (FOXFAM, 2:30): h0tsweetdreamz (Steven Seagal) unknowingly gets high before a meeting with pinkfaeriebitch (Kimberly Williams). Upstairs, majin_j (Alan Thicke) buys mysticimp (Jamie Lee Curtis) a mule. In the next town over, kaetestrophii (Bill Pullman) wipes freakinside69 (Ralph Macchio)'s laptop. That night, myeyeslie (Russell Crowe) gets mad at chemical__ (Sandra Dee) and decides to join the Peace Corps. The next day, josh19696 (Ben Stein) trades laptops with redeyedinosaur (Jon Stewart). Craziness ensues.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)

mix w/ me...

The Potion Maker
h0tsweetdreamzium is a cloudy, crumbly maroon solid gleaned from the blood of an anaconda.
Mix with h0tsweetdreamz! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

i made pizza!!!

Want to find out what pizza you and I can share? Put your name in the box next to mine and click the button to find out!


i got 16 new icon in photo bucket check them out!!! woot woot...

hey hey

i updated my website somewhat... FINALLY!!! it took long enough... like 3 months...lmao... anyways...check it out...

Proof condemns, guilty as charged
Willingly massacred for reasons at large
On a whim, a hope, to captivate his heart
I erased those who plagued us from the start
Now there is nothing to fear, the sun has turned black
Nothing to see, the hatred’s exact
‘Cause now were together again, and nothing can part us
Death is no hindrance; our grip is eternal, as is our lust

Staring me down, an image of flesh
Reaching out for me, and stealing my breath
Enticing me, pulling me, buried alive
He keeps me as his, I never can rise
‘Cause I’m twisted, I’m fallen, I’ve had my demise
Oh, how I love and despise, you, I'm your Hollow Girl

An echo inside my empty black soul
He takes joy from tearing my being, my whole
I know my life is not of silver and gold
But my redemption should not be his to hold
The revelation, the realization, simple association
You are my life, my love, my downfall, the liar of truths, What i see,
The Hollow one is Me.

Staring me down, an image of flesh
Reaching out for me, and stealing my breath
Enticing me, pulling me, buried alive
He keeps me as his, I never can rise
‘Cause I’m twisted, I’m fallen, I’ve had my demise
Oh, how I love and despise, you, I'm your Hollow Girl

For you to kill me is to know that you're still living
Stand over me, panting, my blood is still spilling
he looks at me with his cold brown eyes
Never again will I suffer, never will i hear his lies
Never will I see his smile, never can we ever try
Now as he sees my shudder and fade, he realizes…
That Hollow Girl was his Life.

Staring me down, an image of flesh
Reaching out for me, and stealing my breath
Enticing me, pulling me, buried alive
He keeps me as his, I never can rise
‘Cause I’m twisted, I’m fallen, I’ve had my demise
Oh, how I love and despise, you, I'm your Hollow Girl

Oh, how I love and despise, you, I'm your Hollow Girl
Oh, how I love and despise, you, I'm your Hollow Girl
I'm your Hollow Girl

Friend Cut!!!

if i remove u off my friends list and u wanna stay call me, post here, or IM me 2 get back on.... oooo gotta love friend cuts....
josh is ditchin everyone... wow... how'd that happen...

new background... new info page... oooo check them out... it's h0t...

ok here's a song 2 match the mood... i guess it just seems 2 fit...

"Break Stuff"

Its just one of those days
When you don't wanna wake up
Everything is fucked
Everybody sux
You don't really know why
But want justify
Rippin' someone's head off
No human contact
And if you interact
Your life is on contract
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
It's just one of those days!!

Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit
Lettin' shit slip
Or you'll be leavin with a fat lip
Its all about the he says she says bullshit
I think you better quit talkin that shit
(Punk, so come and get it)
Its just one of those days
Feelin' like a freight train
First one to complain
Leaves with a blood stain
Damn right I'm a maniac
You better watch your back
Cuz I'm fuckin' up your program
And if your stuck up
You just lucked up
Next in line to get fucked up
Your best bet is to stay away motherfucker
Its just one of those days!!


I feel like shit
My suggestion is to keep your distance cuz right now im dangerous
We've all felt like shit
And been treated like shit
All those motherfuckers that want to step up
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break somethin' tonight...
I hope you know I pack a chain saw
I'll skin your ass raw
And if my day keeps goin' this way I just might break your fuckin' face tonight!!
Give me somethin' to break
How bout your fuckin' face
I hope you know I pack a chain saw, what!!...

MY HAIR IS BROWN.... oooo my natural color.... damn i haven't seen this since the beginning of 8th grade... lmao
*SOUL SCREAM....* and thats all i feel right about now...

god... why can't have a normal fucking life... i always have someone on my ass BITCHING at me... i just want 2 say fuck off but unfortunatly i have 2 much fucking respect for them... grrr...

*takes a pause in rant 2 talk 2 someone special and a few other people...*

ok i feel better now... sooo much calmer... thanks special person...

oooh and look at this this is from someone else i was talkin 2... this is funny:

ugavemebuterflyz: y?
ugavemebuterflyz: lmaorotf
ugavemebuterflyz: ooo i guess so... poor guy...lol
jon: LOL.
me and josh play fightin&apos;
me and josh play fightin'
us at hooters
save a horse
save a horse
ride a cowboy
ride a cowboy
pain in the jitney
pain in the jitney
the bus driver tells me my tape will go public... ouch
the bus driver tells me my tape will go public... ouch
some times in a.c. u don&apos;t get all the chips u deserve...
some times in a.c. u don't get all the chips u deserve...
me chillin...i look like a skank...damn...
me chillin...i look like a skank...damn...
here is who fell asleep first...hmmmm...
here is who fell asleep first...hmmmm...
my happiness...yummy...
my happiness...yummy...
fetus in a cup...mmmm.... drizzled not stirred
fetus in a cup...mmmm.... drizzled not stirred...
me and julian...tipsy style...haha
me and julian...tipsy style...haha
some one was caught cheating... damn...that sucks...
some one was caught cheating... damn...that sucks...

do this...

Post anything that you want here, and post it anonymously. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love... anything. Make sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post as many times as you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what others have to say.
Do you know what its like... to be betrayed by everyone... Instead of counting on one hand, the number of people against you.. your counting on one hand, the number of people who are still on your side... you feel like even you're starting to turn your back on yourself... Then to look to the only person who knows your innermost thoughts... and suddenly you don't even recognize them.. Dont recognize yourself.. And all you can think is this time things can't be fixed... When everything slips away till all that's left is a face in the mirror that you swear isn't you... Do your hands shake when you're all alone? And secretly, deep down, you know the one thing that you want, that would make some of all of this okay. But no one thinks twice about giving you just that? Do you ever want to melt away and fade into the walls.. Make yourself numb... and see if anyone would care at all...

Latest Month

April 2005